Stress comes in all shapes and forms and is experienced differently by everyone in their bodies and minds. A little bit of stress can be good for us (for example, our nerves and excitement about our upcoming hockey game, which may increase our adrenaline and enhance our performance. Or, we feel challenged by a new task and spend extra effort on it because we want to feel successful at it). Too much stress, however, can really take its toll on our physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. How can we help our teens manage stress? Below are a few ways to help teens acknowledge and respond to stress.
First, let’s talk about it! What is causing them stress? What does it feel like in their body? What do their thoughts sound like? What emotions do they have? As Dan Siegel says, “name it to tame it.” By acknowledging the things that stress us out and how they affect us, we can take steps to change our responses. Also, when we talk about stress, we normalize it and let our teens know that we are here for them.
Let’s think about stress as waves in an ocean—sometimes the ocean is calm, other times choppy, and other times there are tsunamis. When we feel like we’re in the middle of a storm, we can try to remind ourselves that we won’t always feel this way. We don’t have to believe everything we think! In fact, we can make just a few small changes to our negative thoughts, which can change the impact of those thoughts! For example, “I don’t understand this… yet.” “This feels too hard for now, but I am learning.” “I’m overwhelmed.. but I won’t always feel this way.” Let’s also remember to use positive affirmations (like we spoke about on June 2).
Let’s practice some mindfulness. Mindfulness is noticing your thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations as they happen now, in the moment! Mindfulness allows us to be thoughtful, focused and responsive. Here are a couple of mindfulness activities:
Tapping into positivity with our senses.
- Sight – look at things that make you happy! Things in nature, photographs, art, the things around you! Maybe you want to draw, paint or create something.
- Smell – what are your favorite smells? Cookies, bread, the grass, the rain?
- Touch – Hugs or high fives, clean sheets, petting an animal, a fidget toy, feet in the grass.
- Taste – really savour the flavour of your food; maybe chew some gum or drink ice-cold water
- Hear – listen to your favourite song, sounds of nature or things around you. Play an instrument.
Pay attention to your breathing. Is it slow, fast, warm, deep, shallow? Try to breathe deeply. In for a few seconds, hold, and out for a few seconds. Bringing awareness to our breath can help us manage stress in the moment.
Practice gratitude. Let’s take in the good. What was something positive that you experienced today?
Other ways we can support our teens with stress:
- Encourage them to participate in activities they enjoy
- Encourage them to try something new
- Enjoy a change of scenery. We’ve all been cooped up for a while; maybe a road trip where our teens pick the tunes may be helpful!
- Help them focus on the things they can control or change
- Limit exposure to stressors when possible
- Encourage them to participate in meaningful cultural activities
- Practice coping skills (taking breaks or making large tasks into smaller, more manageable parts)
- Connect them with people they love
- Connect them with a support person if needed (a caseworker, me {the therapist}, an Elder, or their support worker)
- Spend time with them and have some fun!
These are just a few of the many ways we can begin to support our teens in managing stress. Try some, or add your own ideas!
