Everything. Well, mostly everything. In the context of our work, relationships make up the core and foundation of what we do. It’s how we establish a sense of connection, belonging, and safety. It’s how we ‘get’ kids to brush their teeth, complete math homework, and try new and scary things.
There’s a difference between sitting next to, and sitting with someone. Which are you doing? How do you know?
Think, for a moment, about how it feels when you’re having a conversation with someone who also happens to be looking at their phone. Do you feel like the priority? Chances are, no. You might be feeling disconnected, unimportant, or ignored. Our kids pick up on this, too. When you’re with them, connect. Listen to the songs they share and ask to hear another. Cheer for them while they’re playing a video game, ask them questions, and better yet, play too! Ask them to teach you about something important to them.
Make eye contact if it’s comfortable. Thank them. Apologize when you make a mistake. Paint your nails together. Colour together. Sing. Laugh. Cook together. Eat together. Not all of our kids are talkers. That’s okay. Try sitting together in comfortable silence. Listen to music or watch a show. Write them a positive and encouraging note. Draw them something. Be there. Be consistent. Your relationship matters. You matter.
